***CAUTION*** This piece contains offence language and swearing***
“I can’t read it.”
“You couldn’t read when you left school. It’s too late now.”
“Shuddup and shine a bit of light over here, Donny”
Donny activated his iPhone. Its display lit up and shone over the cracked screen of a timetable fixed to a leaking bus shelter. Water had seeped into the card beneath.
“I still can’t read it.”
“I blame that remedial class, Jigger. Little Miss tight-arse wasn’t up to the job.”
“She’d got a nice pair though.”
Jade was getting cold. “If you two don’t get on with it we’re going home. You promised us girls a good time.”
“Yeah, well it wasn’t us threatening to throw up in the taxi.”
“You and Donny were too mean to pay the driver extra to clean it up.” Kaylee was shouting now. “You could have refused to get out. He was only a Paki.”
“He was on the phone to base with Jigger’s name. They’d have sent the fuzz.”
“You two are a couple if dickheads. Proper lads would of had a punch up.”
“We can’t do that, Donny’s getting wed in the morning.”
“You mean you’re on a stag night? We’re a last fling before he gets all respectable?” Jade had turned to the bridegroom.
“She says she’ll cut it off if she catches me out after the wedding. Thought I’d put it about a bit beforehand.”
“You’re frightened of her.” Jade sneered.
“Nah. If she gets difficult I’ll give ’er a smacking; like I’ll give you if y’ don’t shut up.
“What about you Jigger, you hoping for a bit too?” Kaylee had seen a gleam on his ring finger. “What’d your missus say about it if she knew?”
Headlights appeared in the distance.
“Go on Jigger, get out there and stop it. We’ll get a lift.”
The vehicle came closer, bringing with it a lot of noise. The car, long and low, its roof open, boomed rhythmically. Balloons thrashed about, desperate not to get lost in the wind dragging at a much coiffed hairdo, streaming out loose. Light from inside the stretch limo escaped upwards illuminating a girl from below.
“There’s a couple of lads out there,” she called, “we could get ’em inside for a bit of fun.”
The dream machine came to a halt and more heads appeared as most of the party came up for air.
“Come on, we’ll leave the slags and grab the men,” one of them said.
There were still two passengers inside the car. One drained her vodka, and then joined the sightseers with their heads through the roof opening. After a moment or two her eyes adjusted for the dark.
“No you fucking don’t.”
The empty bottle gave a satisfying thunk as it found its mark before crashing to the ground. “I’m due to marry that one in the morning, and the other’s Jigger.”
She could see his missus out cold as she dropped back into the saloon.
“Get going driver.”
“I can’t read it.”
“You couldn’t read when you left school. It’s too late now.”
“Shuddup and shine a bit of light over here, Donny”
Donny activated his iPhone. Its display lit up and shone over the cracked screen of a timetable fixed to a leaking bus shelter. Water had seeped into the card beneath.
“I still can’t read it.”
“I blame that remedial class, Jigger. Little Miss tight-arse wasn’t up to the job.”
“She’d got a nice pair though.”
Jade was getting cold. “If you two don’t get on with it we’re going home. You promised us girls a good time.”
“Yeah, well it wasn’t us threatening to throw up in the taxi.”
“You and Donny were too mean to pay the driver extra to clean it up.” Kaylee was shouting now. “You could have refused to get out. He was only a Paki.”
“He was on the phone to base with Jigger’s name. They’d have sent the fuzz.”
“You two are a couple if dickheads. Proper lads would of had a punch up.”
“We can’t do that, Donny’s getting wed in the morning.”
“You mean you’re on a stag night? We’re a last fling before he gets all respectable?” Jade had turned to the bridegroom.
“She says she’ll cut it off if she catches me out after the wedding. Thought I’d put it about a bit beforehand.”
“You’re frightened of her.” Jade sneered.
“Nah. If she gets difficult I’ll give ’er a smacking; like I’ll give you if y’ don’t shut up.
“What about you Jigger, you hoping for a bit too?” Kaylee had seen a gleam on his ring finger. “What’d your missus say about it if she knew?”
Headlights appeared in the distance.
“Go on Jigger, get out there and stop it. We’ll get a lift.”
The vehicle came closer, bringing with it a lot of noise. The car, long and low, its roof open, boomed rhythmically. Balloons thrashed about, desperate not to get lost in the wind dragging at a much coiffed hairdo, streaming out loose. Light from inside the stretch limo escaped upwards illuminating a girl from below.
“There’s a couple of lads out there,” she called, “we could get ’em inside for a bit of fun.”
The dream machine came to a halt and more heads appeared as most of the party came up for air.
“Come on, we’ll leave the slags and grab the men,” one of them said.
There were still two passengers inside the car. One drained her vodka, and then joined the sightseers with their heads through the roof opening. After a moment or two her eyes adjusted for the dark.
“No you fucking don’t.”
The empty bottle gave a satisfying thunk as it found its mark before crashing to the ground. “I’m due to marry that one in the morning, and the other’s Jigger.”
She could see his missus out cold as she dropped back into the saloon.
“Get going driver.”